In my previous post (https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/leadership-performance-appraisal-staying-objective-when-adi-sunardy-tmywc/), I shared the challenges of giving performance scores—especially how difficult it is to separate objectivity from subjectivity completely. This time, the tables have turned. I’m the one being evaluated.
And the verdict? Moderate.
Of course, as someone who aspires to lead with professionalism (without sounding like I’m selling myself as the poster child of leadership), I accepted it. Still, I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a voice inside me whispering: “Seriously? After all those sleepless nights, the 24/7 firefights, and keeping IT infrastructure services running, this is what we get?”
Ego vs. Reality
Ego says: We deserved better. Our team worked through nights, weekends, and the occasional holidays to ensure service continuity. Compared to some other units—whose workloads seemed far less punishing—we felt under-credited.
Reality says: every unit has its own battles. Perhaps others handled theirs more gracefully, or their outcomes were more visible. And truth be told, our own domain wasn’t spotless. A significant service degradation did happen last semester. Regardless of root causes and complex RCA diagrams, accountability sits with us. Leadership is about owning that.
Rethinking Innovation in Infrastructure Ops
Management feedback often circles “more innovation.” Fair enough. However, innovation in infrastructure doesn’t always mean installing shiny new systems or jumping on the AI bandwagon to avoid FOMO. Real innovation can be:
- Improving business processes.
- Reducing MTTRs.
- Faster provisioning of infra resources.
- Streamlining day-to-day operations so teams can breathe (and maybe sleep, once in a while).
Innovation, in our world, isn’t about showmanship—it’s about making resilience a habit.
Subjectivity and the Performance Game
I sometimes wonder whether our evaluators are immune to the Halo & Horn effect, or whether “the train wagons and locomotive” is more than just an analogy. Do certain units receive the halo effect, while others drag down the weight? Maybe. Maybe not. That’s the messy side of performance evaluations—we’ll never fully know.
Looking Ahead
At the end of the day, I accepted the score without protest. Not because I fully agreed, but because that’s what professionals are supposed to do. What matters now is not the number on the sheet, but the strategy we craft for the next semester.
Will we aim for targets that management loves to see? Sure. Will we continue to fight for IT operations with the same commitment, even if recognition feels uneven? Absolutely. Call it cliché, but my team and I will keep giving our best—because that’s the only way we know how to work.
And maybe next time, when the scorecard lands on my desk again, the story will be a little different. Until then—back to the trenches.
💡 Closing thought for you, my friends:
How do you deal with the subjectivity of performance reviews—especially when you feel the effort doesn’t fully translate into the score? Do you fight it, accept it, or turn it into fuel for the next round?
